Sometimes it’s hard to believe God is not selfish whenever I remember my life is all about His purpose

                                                                                                                                           ...buf akpan

I did not choose my parents, I did not choose my location and colour, Someone did, even though it took me ages to accept the fact that my location is the best that can ever happen to me. After all, many are today given birth to in a royal family, brought up with golden spoon and are often seen to be having all the pleasures they desire and I know all men were sometimes equal but the differences in our situation came when some men decided to create a change, which has greatly influenced their lineage and they are seen as rich folks who sometimes oppress the people who believe they are poor. And I ask myself “what would it have taken God to make me a member of the royal family in England? Nothing but because He knows I will be productive here.

Location is one things value is everything.

                                                                                                                                            …buf akpan 

The father, gave up His son on the cross to gain us entrance into His kingdom, yet many of us say God disappoints and if He actually disappoints, it means His son In whom He is well pleased was not spared and even the twelve the Son, Jesus, chose, who we think should have the best of all things in life because they teamed up with the Master of all things in whom all the saint are perfected including you, but they all died and sorrow filled the hearts of those that were around because they felt their deaths were miserable.

Most of us today, if given opportunity, have lot of stories of success and failures, joy and sadness, pleasure and pains, but it takes a man of understanding in God to really say God is faithful in difficulties. Someone asked me: “where was God when I needed Him?” and I said He’s always around but does His things at His own timing, because we are made for His purpose, which is why He seems to be agonizingly slow in the things we think is the best for us at our own timing, without considering His timing for those desires.

Isaac was not born unto Abraham until the timing was specified.  “…time of life…” (Compare Gen 18:9,14 and Gen 21:2).

Many even claim their lives are all about Jesus but still find it difficult to let go some things and when disappointment comes, God is held responsible.

I do not have two things to advocate. Sticking close to God is the only solution I can offer because His choice for you will remain the best. He knows the end of the pains you might be into, give Him the chance to handle it.

Request for my free ebook, Expectation Only Disappoint by filling our web form on this website: www.speakingpeace.us.ms or on our journals, or send me a blank email with the subject “peace” to speakingpeace@post.com, speakingpeace@fsmail.net and for our subscribers in England, you can reach us through femifaniku@yahoo.com or call any of the numbers below. 

I love you but the Lord loves you more than I do.

Yours at-all-times

buf akpan

#6, Adewumi Layout

Agbowo, Ibadan

Oyo State, Nigeria

+447957714571

+2348024961391

Sometimes it’s hard to believe God is not selfish whenever I remember my life is all about His purpose

                                                                                                                 ...buf akpan

I did not choose my parents, I did not choose my location and colour, Someone did, even though it took me ages to accept the fact that my location is the best that can ever happen to me. After all, many are today given birth to in a royal family, brought up with golden spoon and are often seen to be having all the pleasures they desire and I know all men were sometimes equal but the differences in our situation came when some men decided to create a change, which has greatly influenced their lineage and they are seen as rich folks who sometimes oppress the people who believe they are poor. And I ask myself “what would it have taken God to make me a member of the royal family in England? Nothing but because He knows I will be productive here.

Location is one things value is everything.

                                                                                                                …buf akpan    

The father, gave up His son on the cross to gain us entrance into His kingdom, yet many of us say God disappoints and if He actually disappoints, it means His son In whom He is well pleased was not spared and even the twelve the Son, Jesus, chose, who we think should have the best of all things in life because they teamed up with the Master of all things in whom all the saint are perfected including you, but they all died and sorrow filled the hearts of those that were around because they felt their deaths were miserable.

Most of us today, if given opportunity, have lot of stories of success and failures, joy and sadness, pleasure and pains, but it takes a man of understanding in God to really say God is faithful in difficulties. Someone asked me: “where was God when I needed Him?” and I said He’s always around but does His things at His own timing, because we are made for His purpose, which is why He seems to be agonizingly slow in the things we think is the best for us at our own timing, without considering His timing for those desires.

Isaac was not born unto Abraham until the timing was specified.  “…time of life…” (Compare Gen 18:9,14 and Gen 21:2).

Many even claim their lives are all about Jesus but still find it difficult to let go some things and when disappointment comes, God is held responsible.

I do not have two things to advocate. Sticking close to God is the only solution I can offer because His choice for you will remain the best. He knows the end of the pains you might be into, give Him the chance to handle it.

Request for my free ebook, Expectation Only Disappoint by filling our web form on this website: www.speakingpeace.us.ms or read our previous newsletters on my msn blog: http://speakingp.spaces.live.com or on our journals or send me a blank email with the subject “peace” to speakingpeace@post.com, speakingpeace@fsmail.net and for our subscribes in England, you can reach us through femifaniku@yahoo.com or call any of the numbers below.

I can also be contacted at God’s Remnant Assembly (96 Oyo Road, Samonda, Ibadan) where am constantly being fed by Jesus Himself and I don’t think it would be a bad decision worshiping with us.

I love you but the Lord loves you more than I do.

Yours at-all-times

buf akpan

#6, Adewumi Layout

Agbowo, Ibadan

Oyo State, Nigeria

+447957714571

+2348024961391

“Our Faith determines our experience in the unlimited power of God”

…Revd. Oniya

Few years ago a man encountered a terrible difficulty but in the process slipped into depression without knowing it himself. He turned against God, got married to another wife and sent his first wife packing with children but his first wife never gave up on God and her husband believing one day her husband’s mind will be restored. Thank God it didn’t take too long a time when he (the man) realized he had been wrong considering what he did was just too ridiculous to be responsible for the pain the woman he claimed he loved and exchanged vows with on the alter on their wedding day before God and man had to pass through. It didn’t take him anything to reconcile because the woman, his first wife had always prayed for the day her husband will say; “am sorry sweetheart” but he soon found himself in a dilemma because he considered where he will tell the other woman to go with her children, he also could not face the members of his congregation having been a pastor and while in the midst of this confusion, he asked God to take his life and a few days later he died.

Then the daughter came screaming, “Daddy we were supposed to go fishing this weakened”. This was actually supposed to be her first fishing experience with daddy. She refused to be comforted and I can imagine what would have gone through her mind’ “God what happened, why did it have to be my dad? Just at this time I started enjoying fatherly love”.

The wife on the other hand almost shed blood as tears because her eyes were as red as red wine and the brother who could not also bear the pain of the loss wrote a song while his wives were left to sought out themselves.

Hmmm! Most of us get to behaving irrationally the little time we change our focus from God to something else of which mostly is “self”, and this happens the moment we feel God has disappointed us.

Slipping into depression is not the problem but making irrational decision is, because we sometimes make the greatest mistakes of our lives at this point and what I tell people is that: there is nothing that can be that serious the moment we understand God, which introduces peace.

I know how it feels because I had at one time considered suicide, which was caused because I also slipped into depression but the point is that God will always have a better plan for us.

I know how it feels to lose a loved one, I know how it feels to be rejected, I know how it feels to be counted useless, and I know how it feels to fail. God knows how it feels; Jesus was even touched by the feelings of our infirmities and I wish my tears could be typed with the text because of those that might refuse to be encouraged and stand the chance of giving up on God because of many things we don’t understand.

God knows about your difficulties. He’s aware of your mistakes and sins, which is why He made provision over two thousand years ago, which is why you cant afford to give up or get into condemnation.

“Because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God”.

…Romans 8:21

Our pains are evident to Him. He never disappoints anyone only if we understand Him. I could not take my mind off this issue of disappointment until a book was written, where I explained the real thing that causes our disappointment, uh-oh! Not the devil but what I can say now is that God cares more than you can ever imagine, which you can only understand through faith.

To receive more of speaking peace letters, please send a blank mail to bufonly@yahoo.com, Speakingpeage@post.com, femifaniku@yahoo.com or call either of the numbers below.

I love you but the Lord loves you more than I do.

Yours at-all-time.

buf akpan.

It is so good to know God does not mind us being sincere with

Him when speaking our mind… 

On my way home on a Monday evening, I was asking questions from God with tears; feeling disappointed in God, because He did not bless what I wanted Him bless; I knew I had failed Him in many areas but thought He could still bless me because “His mercies are new every morning…” For months I could not pray, my environment changed because I could not fit into anything. I went to Church, danced during the praise worship time, listened to the sermon but nothing changed in me.

 I was always shedding tears whenever I was alone. It was as if God no longer existed or He loved me no more as I became irrational with everybody around me even though I tried not letting my people notice there was something wrong with me but I always wanted to be alone to at least hide my troubles, but the pain was eating and killing me gently until I got to the church on a Tuesday bible study and a scriptural passage that struck my heart was mentioned;

“This is the message he had given us to announced to you: God is light and there is no darkness in him at all” (I Jh. 1:5,NLT).

This alone was the message that penetrated into my mind and was just okay for the Holy Spirit to work on, because He did not let go until He had broadened the same; taking me through Abraham and Ishmael’s story and made me understand God cannot build on a wrong foundation; Jacob could not have come through Ishmael, likewise David, not to even mention Jesus coming from that lineage. The time already spent by an individual on a wrong foundation is never considered by God but will rather help that individual through discovering his/her right part.

But our major pain comes immediately the subconscious mind begin to code something different from what it’s used to; the process of readjusting to the change that will be sent to the conscious mind is when individuals face difficulties most; it’s always the battle of the mind.

In Gen. 17:18, Abraham said “May Ishmael enjoy your special blessing”, considering the fact that Ishmael at this time was already grown up, he decided to choose what he had, rather than accepting the possibility of greater things to come.  Thank God it was the plan of God, which explains why Isaac still had to come.

The Holy Spirit however, was not done until He also took me through the story of David, Bathsheba and the child that had to just die before God could ever make Solomon come through the same womb; only then did I get the message, I understood the source of my problem, but was so wrought with God, thinking He could at least patch things up with me without considering the fact that He wants the best for me because His judgment are better compared to mine.  In actual fact the source of my nightmares was as a result of a bad judgment few years, about six before I discovered my calling:

Success truly is the result of good judgment. Good judgment however, is the result of experience, and experiences are often the result of bad judgment!

It is however, beautiful indeed to know that every aspect, stage of our lives is very useful, if and only if we begin to see well.  Life is all about left and right, it’s about minus and plus, but many only want to know the right or the plus side without considering the reality of the minus or left which is always there every time with us.

What more can I say; Let’s begin to manage our situations well.  How long do we want to hold grudges against God, ourselves or shifting blames for our shortcomings? For me, having discovered I failed myself and not God. I decided to forgive God, but it took me time to forgive myself as I sometimes slap myself, hit my head against the wall which changed nothing until I forgave myself and decided to move on, opening my mind to God for help. He’s always there to help you no matter what the situation looks like.

You can leave a comment on this publication or the previous ones on this space or write me through the following e-mail addresses: bufonly@yahoo.com, speakingpeace@post.com

I love you, but the Lord loves you more than I do.

Yours at-all-times

 buf akpan.

+2348024961391

15-08-05

My love,

               WHO AM I AND WHY SHOULD YOU LISTEN TO ME?

Well my name is buf akpan. I have been into a research for the past two years about the reason people go through pains and difficulties. And what got me attracted is just the fact that not just ordinary people suffer, but Christians also. So, I have decided to at least do my part in encouraging people to live above their pains and difficulties through this personal letter to you for the little time God will have me around. For I feel there is something I can do to take away these pains; even if not in totality, I know God will help me.

There are many things responsible for whatever each of us pass or will pass through which happens to us at different stages of life, but I can only discuss it with you one after the other. The first one I will like you to pay a close attention to, is what I call: when He appears late.

One of the greatest destroyers of faith is timing that doesn’t fit our preconceived notions. We live in a fast-paced world where we have come to expect instant responses to every desire and need; instant breakfast, instant relief for sore muscles and minor backache. It’s almost our birthright never to carry over a course or pass an exam with 40 percent despite the all-night reading and praying, never to have a broken relationship, Go broke, eat a piece of meat in our meal. But God doesn’t operate that way. He is never in a hurry. And sometimes, he can be agonizingly slow to solving the problems we bring to his attention. It’s almost enough to make an impatient believer give up and try something else.

Before bailing out, however we should take another look at the story of Mary, Martha, and their brother Lazarus, as told in John 11. The members of this little family were among Jesus’ closet friend during the time of his earthly ministry. Verse 5 says, ‘’ Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus’’ it was reasonable, given this affection, for them to expect certain favours from Jesus-especially if life-threatening emergencies ever occurred. Indeed they were soon confronted by precisely that situation when Lazarus became desperately ill. His sisters did the logical thing-they sent an urgent message to Jesus like you pray today, saying ‘’ Lord, the one you Love is sick’’ (v3). They had every reason to believe he would respond.

 Mary and Martha waited and watched the road for Jesus’ appearances, like we desperately await our deliverance in times of troubles, but he did not come. Hours dragged into anxious days with no sign of the master’s appearance. Meanwhile, Lazarus was steadily losing ground and finally death took him away. But where in the world was Jesus? Oh, he was out there healing strangers, unbelievers receiving their sight while a believer preaches with no ability of identifying colours, and questions go through our mind “may be I did not pray very well or there is a curse on me, or may be I did not confess my sin, so he did not hear me because I know the God I’m serving. He can’t let me fail?” Many that even know how to push blame will gradually begin to lose faith in God as their prayer life begin to loose it’s consistency, church and fellowship attendance reduces and they begin to lose the pleasure they derive in God’s presence. The question that; ‘’how can I have him as a friend, yet I lost that job?’’ runs through their mind with their expectation so high in God gradually reduces to zero percent as grief takes hold of their lives ………

My love, how I wish I could conclude this thought in this letter but space will not permit. I therefore promise to continue in my next letter to you. But if you want to be a regular receiver of this letter, please send me a blank email with the subject “peace’’ through any of the email addresses below. You could also send me your views about the mysteries of life.

I love you, but I know the Lord loves you more than I do.

Yours-all-limes

buf akpan